ESCAPING MY
4 WALLSESCAPING MY
4 WALLSOkay, so what is the big problem here? I'm a guy who doesn't fit in with what's fashionable. I know I'm far from the only one in the country.
More than anything I prefer wearing high heels to flat shoes - a preference not a big issue
So I find skirts a lot more comfortable that trousers - again a preference not a big issue
Just because I "cross dress" doesn't mean i'm not a normal person.
I'm a straight guy who likes to dress differently.
It shouldn't matter what people look like. It's what's inside that matters.
I know some people will have issues with me but I'm not hurting anyone so I don't expect anyone to hurt me.
See bottom of page for some of my pictures
A bit of the junior fancy dress stuff gave me the chance to experience dresses and heels, which I found more comfortable than male clothes. There weren't many chances to dress up but I took whatever chances I could. With my own space I had much more freedom to expand my wardrobe. I just needed to be careful what I left lying around incase the family popped round. Living with the parents again now restricts my freedom. Hopefully things will improve again one day.
| 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 |
| 2007 - Sharing for the first time |
After several years of being single and keeping my dress sense a secret I was keen to find a partner who would accept the rHeel me, so I had to start being more open about the real me. |
| Jul 2007 - I started on a new dating site and set up a "normal me" page and a week
or two later a "rHeel me" page. The support I got for the rHeel me was great and I got many more hits than the normal me, which I closed down. Fortunately I got very few negative comments. This new support has given me several new close friends although I'm still fishing for Miss Right. |
Oct 2007 - My
best girl friend at work asked me about my dating site, so after a
short pause, I told her to expect a shock. When she realised that the
pictures were really me she told me off for not telling her before - we
can't win can we. Heeling in public, on my own, wasn't going to be easy. I had a few days in Scotland on a coach trip so started with the 2" heels (a) [read more], I wasn't quite ready for too much (d) |
Nov 2007 - Time for the final close friend from work - whoops. This one wanted to accept me as we were good friends but she couldn't. Our friendship struggled for some time but fortunately things did slowly improve and after about 3 months everything was back to normal. Hard work but this shows how real friendships can overcome problems. First came the 2" block heels all day = to/from work and out at lunch.
These then progressed to 3" block heels. With long trousers this was
easy. Where
next? It had to be Liverpool Queer Quarter - wasn't confident enought
for the straight bars. 3" Knee High boots under jeans to get to
Liverpool on the bus then when I got to a mixed straight/gay/lesbian
bar the boots went over the jeans. I definately got the looks so sat in
the lesbian area and soon got picked up by a couple who I ended up
spending the night with. |
| Dec 2007 - Okay so now 3 people (and others that had found out but respected me enough not to say anything) now knew. I started wearing 2" heels in work - very descreet. Coming out time soon followed. By boss was told and he was supportive then I sent an email to everyone in the office (20ish). I have had lots of support and am now in 3-4" heels every day (even to and from work), fem trousers on occasion (not brave enough for skirts yet - uncomfortable with guys) and fem tops quite often. Other than the initial shock and a few people being quieter with me than normal I've been very fortunate that I was accepted so well. I even get the girls showing off their heels to be now and being jealous of mine. Not too comfortable with the blokes though. |
| 2008 - Getting out a bit more |
| Feb 2008 - Noisy 3" heels on buses and trains into Liverpool and then on to Southport. Met one of my online friends and despite the rain did a bit of shopping before stopping off in a cafe for a drink. No problems at all and I'm glad I was in heels otherwise I think I may have been shortest. Looking forward to meeting again and I'll be in more comfortable 4" heels next time. |
| Mar 2008 - At
Easter I treated myself to a weekend in Blackpool - on my own again. I
was staying in a gay run hotel and soon started explaining the cross
dressing thing to him. I was in 4" stilettos most of the time in the
hotel. My first afternoon I met a local girl and her friends who I had been chatting to online and spent a few hours with them in various bars around Blackpool and didn't have any problems. I was in long jeans so the heels didn't show too much. When I was back in the hotel (early evening) there was a group of about ten older women. One of them started showing off her shoes so I lifted my foot up and showed my heels. I was soon part of the group and after getting changed into skinny jeans, knee high boots, fem top and jewellery. That night I spent with them and had a great time. Being Blackpool nothing was said although a couple of guys (blokes - aarrgghh) tried to take issue with the boots but seemed happy to accept them as cowboy boots - despite the 4" heel. One other guy who was with a Scot in Kilt, who was friend of the gals, popped over saw the heels and staggered back to his table - he was harmless - hooray guys who notice but don't say anything - at last. The next day I didn't have company and although I desperately wanted to go out I didn't have the confidence so stayed in. |
| May 2008 - As my confidence grew then I started wearing 4" heels, including stilettos. Most of the time I don't hear anyone commenting but every now and again there are the blokes looking and laughing - I just carry on walking. I did have a mixed group notice the 4" stilettos when I was on my way to the bus stop after work, when I heard "Oh my, look," from the women, fortuantely shortly followed by "but he does carry it well". I just carried on to the bus stop and didn't turn around. They didn't say anything as they passed me, althought there were still some giggles. |
| Jun 2008 - Visits from a couple of girl friends and I stayed dressed fem, even made proper effort for one of them. I may not be getting out yet but at least I'm getting bit of company when i'm dressed properly. |
Jul 2008 - I finally tried boots with the Kids - the tan boots that is. Went fine. With support from the bar staff of
my regular i braved
skinny jeans and tan boots (g). Buying drinks,
the stairs and boots on show - finally more confidence. Not sure that
the door staff were that impressed. Will defo do this again although
may venture further if I even find some company. Going solo is still a
challenge. |
| Aug 2008 - Saturday night solo again. Hotel owner insisted I wasn't going to stay in so dragged me and another guest next door to start a tour of the bars. Fortunately in the first stop a couple of women rescued me. Company for a few hours in 4" wedges. Too wet and busy for anyone else to notice. |
| 2009 - The confidence continues to grow |
| Pub in boots still continues and more confident to walk about at 10/11pm on my own. Visited one of my ex-sister-in-laws and worn stiletto knee high boots over skinny jeans, with painted nails. 2 guys and 2 gals about 10 years my younger just accepted me. |
May 2009 - St Helens Fancy Dress Up Night. (i) The boots were on show when the ex-wife came around. "Very Nice" was the response and nothing else has been said. She wasn't overly impressed. Okay with me doing my thing in my private space full stop. |
| Aug 2009 - Living with the parents Not happy times. Cannot be myself in the house or when I go out. No heels. :( Also got the "it's all down to a chemical imbalance in your brain" talk from the mother - aarrgghh. Step dad just doesn't approve, full stop. |
| Sep 2009 - little has changed but with parents away I got a few days to dress properly. I even got to wear a dress (is September 2009 picture below), with jeans and ankle boots in my regular pub. Didn't have any problems and got my usual support from the female staff. |
Oct/Nov 2009 - All very quiet in life at the moment. Nothing new. New job is far from practical for heels. |
| Dec 2009 - Went to a gay bar in St Helens in stiletto ankle boots and the drag queen tried to pinch them, even though they would have been too small. A quiet but enjoyable night. Will definitely be going back there again. |
| 2010 - How Now? - New challenges but quite a stagnant life at moment |
| Jan 2010 - Heels in work? Just about. Far from practical, especially in the snow and ice outside. Not a problem in the warehouse. Yes I did wear my Birthday Boots, thinking the thicker heels was a bit more sensible, briefly the other day. Not had much chance to share with work colleagues yet and time is running out. |
| April 2010 - I have been braver trying boots on in shops and not worried too much about what others thought. No comments so far. Finally out in heels and dress again, courtesy of my friends in a gay bar. I even didn't get changed to get taxi home. Still got some way to go with my confidence but this is a start. At request of my gay bar friends I did do full dress up one night. Was comfortable although not worn wig for about a year it did feel strange. |
| May 2010 - 2" block heels in work is totally normal now (j) - very discreet but best for working in retail. Will continue to make half an effort in gay bar as totally comfy with everyone there and they getting used to the straight guy in heels and short dress. |
| June 2010 - More time in boots at Flex2. 3" heels now for work - helped having them re-soled to make them a bit less obvious when I'm walking. |
[ facebook ] (updated 19-Jun-2010)
| The Gallery - Footwear |
I can often been seen wearing these in Flex2, St Helens:
The Casual, Discreet Work and Public Choices:
The rest of the selection:
| The Gallery - Outfits |
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